Action thrillers tend to have rather absurd premises, and that’s okay. If you describe the story of classics such as Die Hard (a cop trapped in a building with terrorists during Christmas) or Speed (a cop has to keep driving a bus without lowering its speed, otherwise it will explode), they tend to sound pretty ridiculous. Which means: almost everything can be good, no matter how absurd its premise sounds.
That could certainly apply to something like Justin Routt’s Armor, which, if described plainly, could be said to be about an ex-cop and his son getting trapped inside an armoured vehicle by a group of robbers. It sounds unbelievable, yes, but that doesn’t mean the end product should be any less compelling than the previously mentioned classics. Unfortunately, this time, that isn’t the case.
Armor won’t be remembered as one of the many top-tier action vehicles Sylvester Stallone has starred in (productions like Rocky, First Blood, Cop Land or even Creed). It won’t even be remembered as part of his “so-bad-they’re-good” group of films, such as Cobra, Demolition Man or even Escape Plan (only the first one). What we have here is a toothless and repetitive thriller that lacks ambition or even basic thrills, and that features Stallone in a thankless, mostly supportive role. The premise might be absurd, but the execution doesn’t even manage to be absurdly bad; it’s just plain boring, and that’s something no supposed thriller should ever be.
Jason Patric (Narc, Speed 2: Cruise Control) plays James Brody, the aforementioned ex-cop who now works for a security firm, driving armoured trucks full of money from one location to another. He works alongside his son Casey (Josh Wiggins) and is trying (unsuccessfully) to remain sober, going as far as managing AA meetings during his off-hours. One day, though, he discovers cartel gold inside his truck, and he and his son are immediately attacked by a group of mercenaries, led by no-nonsense Rook (Stallone). A rather slow car chase ensues, the truck is blocked by the mercenaries at a bridge, Casey gets shot, the truck gets blown, and our protagonists have no other option but to get inside their armoured vehicle and close the door.
And this is when the actual story begins. What is supposed to be a sort of cat-and-mouse situation ends up being nothing more than eighty minutes (sans credits) of trite dialogue, lethargic editing, lots of shouting and a couple of brief shootouts. The fact that James and Josh are trapped inside an armoured truck and surrounded by dangerous people should make this quite suspenseful, but director Justin Routt doesn’t seem too sure about what to do with his premise. Actions are unclear and character motivations are even more nebulous, which leaves the viewer confused and bored, rather than excited or even interested in the proceedings.
Take Jason Patric’s James. The veteran actor does what he can with the character, but the ex-cop is terribly underwritten, fulfilling most clichés related to the “recovering alcoholic” archetype. He even hides his booze inside a juice box in his fridge, although he appears to live alone. Armor tries to turn the relationship with his son into the emotional backbone of the story, but again, it’s so clichéd and feels so tired, that most of the supposedly emotional moments end up not working at all. Josh Wiggins is not bad as Casey; he at least injects some energy into the film. But since the character gets injured quite early in the proceedings, all he has to do is remain seated and act in pain.
Then there’s Sly Stallone. The two main characters of Armor may be underdeveloped, but his Rook is little more than a cardboard cutout. The only reason he remains interesting is that he’s played by Stallone. who, despite being on autopilot, gives a more animated performance than most of his castmates. On paper, it seems Rook was intended to be a mysterious figure; an apparently noble criminal who, for some reason, has associated with psychopaths, killers and unhinged lunatics. In practice, though, he’s an unmotivated, incompetent and uncharismatic antagonist; a leader who can’t control his minions, and a supposed bad guy who ultimately takes part in an inexplicable and laughable final “twist” (which ends up nullifying the whole affair, by the way).
But what about the action? The actors may be lost and the characters may be one-dimensional, but at least Armor includes enough explosions and fistfights to distract the viewer, no? Well, not really. The film is surprisingly light in violence, and when it does include it, the encounters end up lacking tension and suspense. There are only a couple of shootouts and all of them use frankly embarrassing digital effects, such as two-dimensional sparks, low-res muzzle flashes or cartoonish digital blood. There are even a couple of scenes that feature awful fire and water effects, like something out of The Asylum. It’s a matter of resource management; Armor feels like a poorly planned production that tried to do more than what could be afforded with the resources at hand.
Which is a pity, because having watched the end product, Routt and his team had something here. They could have crafted a taut, minimalist thriller, focusing on a father-son duo trying to escape an inescapable situation. They had Sly Stallone (only for a couple of days on set, it seems, but still) and they had a capable Jason Patric. But what they ended up doing, was making a repetitive, tedious action “romp”, full of terrible digital effects and clichéd characterisations, and lacking in anything resembling excitement or tension. Armor is, unfortunately, a wasted opportunity that not even Stallone or its appropriately ludicrous premise can save.
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